Recycle this

The other day, while I was recycling my mayonnaise jars by placing them carefully into the recycling bins (can I just throw them in there so they break or should I place them in there whole? They're going to get ground up anyway, right?) at my apartment house, I said to myself, "Should I also be recycling my plastic grocery bags?" Each of them weighs probably .00001 grams, but at least I'm contributing to the health of the earth. Then I thought to myself, "What could I contribute that weighs a bit more, so that I'm *really* contributing?" How 'bout cars? If I buy a used car, that's like recycling, isn't it? I mean, the real recycling happens when they squash the car into a cube, but isn't this sort of pre-recycling recycling? And cars weigh more than .00001 grams, so it's a genuine contribution to the future of my kids' kids. But then I stopped and said, "Wait a minute... Who the hell cares about the future of the earth or my grandkids. I want more sex and a bigger house, right? Screw the earth, that's for those tree-hugger weirdos." But then I realized that I was having another selfish attack. You've seen it on tv, like at political conventions.

Buying a new car might contribute to the country's economic health, but buying a used car would contribute to the notion that having value as a human being does not require ownership of a car less than 2 years old.

It's the great capitalism-specific dilemma of the 21st century, and I'm proudly a part of it.


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