Attention citizens of earth

Does anyone here remember (a few years ago) when California’s Governor mentioned to a reporter that he owned seven (7) Hummers? Arnold didn’t know that his giant cars were melting one iceberg per hour all by themselves, but I’ve always been curious about how the Governor made use of all those cars. Did he drive for a half hour, run that Hummer dry, then have the help bring up another one? Did he have the days of the week cutely painted on each driver’s door like those panties on E-bay that say “Monday” or “Tuesday”? Were all seven of his 8,500-pound Hummers the same color? Did he at any point consider owning his own gas station? Could we have a moment of silence for a polar bear?

With the Hummer company (as of this writing) in trouble, we have to wonder what Arnold is driving nowadays. He wouldn’t be walking or riding a bike, since that’s illegal in California. Only large shiny vehicles that rumble are permitted here. Actually I’m exaggerating. You
can ride a bike here, but people may look at you like, “What’s-a-matter with you, can’t you afford a mechanical device that makes a little noise?” In their hearts, California drivers don’t feel that bike riders are real. They sort of exist, but certainly don’t deserve to be treated as importantly as a real human in a large, sparkling, normal car.

So anyway, in the name of carbon footprint reduction, those of us at Yelp & Howl (me and the cat) now present a way for you to save thousands in plane fares and do a little something for the planet. The 27-second vacation...




Ocean from Roger Steen on Vimeo.



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