Help me, I need to stop thinking
May/09/2009
Yesterday
morning I woke up early, and before I knew what was
happening I started thinking again. It kept going
'round and 'round in my head: should I spend the day
studying existentialism or buying jewelry? Now, I
hear you, you're saying to yourself, "The best way
for you to stop dwelling on chaos and absurdity is to
get a gold chain."
The only thing I would add to that is, "Or a watch." Jewelry is really all about shimmering. Each time you move around you get a little shimmering going on. As the shimmerettes appear in your peripheral vision they work to take your mind off the spectacularly heavy concepts that you should probably try to avoid: things like self-determination or whether to get the Corolla with a moonroof.
I suppose that crystal chandeliers might serve the same purpose. I was thinking about putting several in each room so that when I'm walking around I always have little sparkly things visible out of the corner of my eye, distracting me from unproductive thoughts. You know, crap like "Is there a transcendent force or is it just you and me, baby?"
Spending time on stuff like that will make the Rolex Oyster Perpetual a much more distant reality. And that, dear friend, will put you on the path to boredom, alienation, and nothingness.
The only thing I would add to that is, "Or a watch." Jewelry is really all about shimmering. Each time you move around you get a little shimmering going on. As the shimmerettes appear in your peripheral vision they work to take your mind off the spectacularly heavy concepts that you should probably try to avoid: things like self-determination or whether to get the Corolla with a moonroof.
I suppose that crystal chandeliers might serve the same purpose. I was thinking about putting several in each room so that when I'm walking around I always have little sparkly things visible out of the corner of my eye, distracting me from unproductive thoughts. You know, crap like "Is there a transcendent force or is it just you and me, baby?"
Spending time on stuff like that will make the Rolex Oyster Perpetual a much more distant reality. And that, dear friend, will put you on the path to boredom, alienation, and nothingness.
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Power on the sidewalk
May/01/2009
You know
how sometimes you'll be walking alone on a city
sidewalk and you look up and there'll be three people
coming toward you, walking abreast, occupying the
complete width of available concrete? All they'd have
to do is compress a little closer together and move a
bit to one side, and everything would be fine. But
what if -- as you get closer -- they don't move over?
You're faced with a decision: stay the course, or
swerve and let them come rumbling through.
This is power on the sidewalk.
So getting back to the three people compressing, the deal is that the amount they compress is directly related to how much power they're willing to give up. If the lone approaching stranger looks imposing, or if the three in combination consider themselves more significant than the loner, the compression algorithm mutates accordingly. A really "significant" threesome may feel no need to compress at all.
Then again, if there's a consideration imbalance -- if one of the two opposing sides is more considerate than the other -- this also modifies the nature of the encounter. In a worst-case scenario, with no one exhibiting consideration or relinquishing power, we could have actual physical contact. Jackets brushing against each other during the passage, or in extreme cases, shoulders bumping.
The danger here is self-evident, and what's needed should be pretty clear. Legislation. We need laws on the books, not more talk. We need to treat this a lot more seriously than you are treating it at this moment. You think I can't tell from that smirk on your face what you're up to? If you're anti-law, you're anti-American. Simple as that.
I'd suggest you get on the phone right now. Call your congressperson, and let them know that you are pro-law (repeat the phrase "I speak eloquently on the phone" multiple times before you call). Feel free to say things like "we need more laws," or "are you aware of the power on the sidewalk problem?"
My friends, don't treat your country badly. Call now.
This is power on the sidewalk.
So getting back to the three people compressing, the deal is that the amount they compress is directly related to how much power they're willing to give up. If the lone approaching stranger looks imposing, or if the three in combination consider themselves more significant than the loner, the compression algorithm mutates accordingly. A really "significant" threesome may feel no need to compress at all.
Then again, if there's a consideration imbalance -- if one of the two opposing sides is more considerate than the other -- this also modifies the nature of the encounter. In a worst-case scenario, with no one exhibiting consideration or relinquishing power, we could have actual physical contact. Jackets brushing against each other during the passage, or in extreme cases, shoulders bumping.
The danger here is self-evident, and what's needed should be pretty clear. Legislation. We need laws on the books, not more talk. We need to treat this a lot more seriously than you are treating it at this moment. You think I can't tell from that smirk on your face what you're up to? If you're anti-law, you're anti-American. Simple as that.
I'd suggest you get on the phone right now. Call your congressperson, and let them know that you are pro-law (repeat the phrase "I speak eloquently on the phone" multiple times before you call). Feel free to say things like "we need more laws," or "are you aware of the power on the sidewalk problem?"
My friends, don't treat your country badly. Call now.